Every good parent wants their child to have the best possible future, and to succeed in life to the best of their abilities. But what should you do, in the here and now, to make that happen?
While, of course, there aren’t any clear-cut answers to a question like that, it’s probably a good idea to assume that your child’s habits will have a dramatic impact on their future, and on their ability to be successful in whatever it is they attempt in life.
By the same token, instilling good habits in your child isn’t the kind of thing that you can just do in a completely authoritative, top-down way. Rather, as with so much else in life, it’s very important to hone your own motivational skills, so that you can motivate your kids to pick up and maintain good habits of their own accord.
Here are a few tips for motivating your kids to pick up good habits
Present positive behavioural examples to them in the form of uplifting stories
Kids are always looking for examples to model their behaviour. That’s why role models are so important, both in terms of parental role models, and in terms of broader cultural role models.
One of the best ways of motivating your child to do positive things, and to acquire positive habits of their own accord, is by presenting positive behavioural examples to them in the form of uplifting stories.
If you give your child a story that explains sound financial principles, or that underscores the importance of keeping a tidy bedroom, for example, it is much more likely that the child will engage and identify with the story they’re being told, take the message to heart, and at the very least will be receptive to following the advice contained within.
Sometimes, you may even find your child spontaneously acting on the moral of the story, without you having to do or say anything else.
Be sure to praise and reinforce positive actions, instead of just treating them as expected
Children are always looking for praise and approval from their parents, and so when your child does something that you like and consider positive, it’s important that you praise and reinforce those actions in a clear way.
If you simply treat those good behaviours as run-of-the-mill and “expected,” you will be depriving your child of the emotional stimulus that can make all the difference in helping them to create positive associations with those behaviours, and to actually feel motivated to engage in them on a regular basis.
In some cases, and for some particular actions, it may be appropriate to give your child some kind of small gift or treat as a reward. Often, though, it will be enough just to smile and tell them they’ve done a very good job, and that you’re proud of them.
Use visual tracking systems such as star charts in order to make the process more tangible
Even as adults, we all tend to take a lot of satisfaction in seeing visible markers of progress and success. That’s why various leading fitness apps will show charts, and will give us comparative stats, to keep us motivated. And it’s also why crossing items off a checklist can feel so deeply satisfying.
For children, of course, the same principles apply, and they apply even more so.
If you want to motivate your child to pick up and stick with positive habits, consider using visual tracking system such as star charts, in order to make the process more tangible. As your child accumulates more and more stars or other positive signifiers, they will naturally feel more inclined to keep going, and their momentum will increase.
Lead by example
There’s no point at all in telling your child to do something, if you yourself then proceed to do the opposite, right in front of them.
Children, when all is said and done, are far more interested in following the examples of their parents than they are in following the advice of their parents.
In other words, one of the best things you can do to help motivate a child to establish good habits, is to lead by example. If you tell them it’s important to keep a tidy room, then make sure your is tidy. And if you expect them to get dressed in daytime clothes every morning, then don’t let them catch you lounging in front of the TV in the afternoon in your pyjamas.
