You never imagined this day would come, when your parents left you behind to go to heaven. Dealing with grief at this point in your life was not something you were prepared for and you need a few moments to think about how to deal with it all. You have been so busy trying to raise your own family that you never prepared yourself for something like this. You want to teach your kids about life and death, but you’re not sure how to go about it. You understand how important it is to grieve the loss of a close family member and then move on with your life. The time has now come to start the process and come to terms with the devastation in your family at this time.
The Practicalities
Before you can start to grieve properly, there are so many practicalities to take care of. You will need to organise a funeral, take care of legal matters and even hire local undertakers. You can easily get swept up in all of the logistical steps that you forget how to be upset. You have to put on a brave face and get all of these jobs done, otherwise it simply won’t happen. It’s fine to be on a mission to get everything sorted, but then you need to take a step back and start the grieving process.
The Grieving Process
There is no right or wrong way to grieve the death of a parent or loss of a close family member; everybody deals with this in very different ways. Whether you spend a few days being upset or you throw yourself back into work and push it aside for a while, there will always be a way that works for you. What you mustn’t do is keep your feelings bottled up inside as you will inevitable explode at some point. Speak to somebody you trust or go to a therapist to talk about your feelings in a non judgmental environment. Once you have come to terms with all of your emotions you will gradually be able to move on and start living your life to the fullest again.
The Conversations
Talking to your children about death can be incredibly difficult, but it has to be done no matter how old they are. Your little ones are going to have questions about where their grandparent has gone, so make sure you explain it in an age appropriate way for them to comprehend. There are many children’s books out there that help you to explain the process of life and death with your little ones, so this might help too.
The Normal Routine
At some point you will need to get back into the normal routine of life, without feeling guilty about smiling again. Once that day comes you will be able to look back on fond memories without feeling sad and upset about the passing of your parent.
Dealing with the death of a parent is incredibly difficult, but if you can learn to grieve and grow in the right way for you, you will soon be able to process it and move on.
