The Financial Fairy Tales Blog

Our beliefs are the cornerstone of our experience. What we believe decides our actions which in turn lead to our results. But where do these beliefs come from and are they true?

Many of our limiting beliefs about money come from childhood before the age of 7. At that time we are hyper vigilant to the world around us and the influences from parents, caregivers and what we see or hear on TV.

Picture the scene, you are staying up late with your parents watching a film or soap on TV. The rich guy is nearly always the villain, selfish, greedy and probably has criminal tendencies. The wealthy family is dysfunctional with rebellious kids and partners cheating on each other. The portrayal of wealthy people is nearly always negative, so too is the likely reaction of those watching. Particularly if young and vulnerable to external influences.

Subconsciously we accept these images and scenes as ‘normal’ and overtime, with repetition, they form our beliefs, for example that rich people are greedy or bad in some way. A consequence of which is that in our young minds we make a decision that this is not the path for us.

“We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.”

–Louise L. Hay

At some point as adults we can learn to challenge these limiting beliefs about money and realise that what we took in as a child is either not true or questionable to say the least.

When we believe something to be true we look for evidence to support it. we need to be ‘right’ to feel good. So if we have a limiting belief that money only comes through hard work we will scan our experience to support that view. For example for a teenager maybe a summer job picking fruit was ‘hard work’ and resulted in getting more money than they were used to. Or working evenings in a restaurant, or Saturday on their feet all day as a shop assistant.

Each validation of the belief acts to strengthen it. Just as placing legs under a table top makes it more stable and likely to endure. 3 legs or more are ‘wobbly’ but bring 4, 6, 8 or more and that table is rock solid.

The trick to explosing that belief is to remove the legs from under the table. Chalneging these beliefs can take some time but can be achieved with a little patience and desire.

So for example if we believe that ‘money is the root of all evil’ here is a questioning technique to work through.

Step 1: Write the limiting belief down. Play detective and follow your thoughts and emotions to discover the limiting beliefs that hold you back. Put them on paper and stare them in the face! You might note how strong each belief is and what emotions they elicit in you.

Step 2: Acknowledge that these are beliefs, not truths! This is often the hardest step. “But, but, my limitations are real!” Here’s the place where choice comes in. Which are you more interested in: defending your limitations to the death or achieving your goals and desires? As author Evelyn Waugh wrote, “When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.” You can choose.

Step 3: Try on a different belief. Use your imagination and try on a belief that is aligned with what you want. It might be something like, “My financial difficulties in the past have taught me so much that I’m fully prepared to handle them now!” Or, “The more money I have, the more good I can achieve in the world”

The trick is to go beyond just saying it. You want to really step into this new belief and feel how it feels. Done thoroughly, Steps 2 and 3 will go a long way to dismantling your old limiting beliefs about money or anything else.

Step 4: Take different action. This might feel a little scary, but it’s time to act as if your new belief is true. In other words, if you really are capable and have learned a tremendous amount from past financial difficulties, what steps would you take?  What would you do differently now?

The infographic below comes courtesy of T Harv Eker and may help you look at your limiting beliefs about money in a different way.